An Ode to London #LetsTalk

by - 14:00

If you know me, you'll know that I'm not the biggest fan of London. I hate the crowds, I hate commuting and I rarely actually get to enjoy any of its good parts due to a lack of funds.

But the other night I was very thankful to have travelled up there, taking the tube at rush hour and walking its pavements in the cold downpour.

For the last week or so I've been experiencing a lot of bad mental health things which I'd like to attribute partially to PMS but I know most of it is undisciplined thinking habits. Over-thinking, worrying and feelings of overwhelming anxiety have been made worse by the fact that I spend a great deal of my time alone, in my room doing uni work. I rarely leave the house or talk to people throughout the day and this creates the perfect breeding ground for bad thoughts and negative downward spirals - such fun!

When there's little change or stimulation to your daily life, things can start to stagnate around you. Bad thoughts linger and the world shrinks down to a very small and specific scale to fit your environment. Time slows. Problems feel bigger and before you know it you're Googling your symptoms and trying to piece together a questionable diagnosis of yourself - I can not dissuade you from this enough: it is a terrible idea and will make you think that you're actually 100% doolally. 

And so that's why it's good to get out into the big wide world, or London in my case. To show you that life carries on, people keep moving and the world keeps on turning. I was also comforted just by the presence of infrastructure (possibly the most 'crazed-architect' thing I've ever said) but factors such as the solid, lit-up buildings and ever-awake underground trains helped me to feel like I was feeding off the pulse of the city and taking some energy for myself: I was pumping a little bit of life back into my body.

This isn't even a case of trying to feel like "everything is relevant" cos ya know what: sometimes it's not and things just suck and your perspective is way too skewed to allow relativity to cheer you up. It's just about immersing yourself in something bigger than you and being around tangible energy and life. Taking yourself out of your little safe place (which is starting to get stale) and putting some new things in your head.

Maybe it's not what you feel like doing but it could be the best way to change how you're feeling.

I didn't think I could feel so in love with London but here we are - it's my new place to go when I feel in need of an incredibly abstract hug. 

Stay inspired,

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